i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
