I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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