Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize