Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dignity is for republicans.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
