Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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