before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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