Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I see more hoeing in ur future
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
