Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
love makes seman taste better
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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