But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
