So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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