Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize