I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
