his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize