His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
sex in a hospital.. check
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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