so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
