I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize