How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
