just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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