The maid of honor just puked.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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