Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
