Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
