i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
