I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
