Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
