How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
