Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This house was built for laser tag.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
