I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
