After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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