Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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