so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
