You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
