The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize