so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
