Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize