My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
