If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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