Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
