i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize