I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
