My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
