MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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