Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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