Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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