Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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