Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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