My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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