dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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