i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
