I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
