The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
