why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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