I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
