at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
