Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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