So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
