So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
