I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
