homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
