Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
