I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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