Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

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(949): View more from California

After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire

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