Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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