I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
