is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
